Seasons

Seeing the title and entering into more Spring-like weather you may think that I am referring to weather seasons.  I'm not.

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now. 

I am a lifer.  When I make a friend I feel like they are (or should be) a friend for life.  It takes me a bit longer than many to open up to people.  I guard myself.  I have security issues and don't want to get hurt and don't want people to not like me.  I am shy and easily intimidated.  It's silly, but it is what it is.

When I open up enough to have a friendship with more than the "Hi how are you?/Good, how are you?" conversations then I probably consider you a friend.  The more communication we have and the more time we spend together, the closer I feel to to you.  Once we get to the friend stage it is near impossible for someone to no longer be a friend, in my eyes. 

I have a hard time meeting new people and just feel awkward, but I greatly appreciate the friendships that have formed after so many meetings. Over the years God has brought some really phenomenal people into my life, and I am so thankful!

Life happens.  Just as seasons happen.  Sometimes I try too hard to hold on to relationships that perhaps were only meant to be for a certain season.  The relationship can die out or fizzle. This is hard for me because, as I said, I am a lifer. 

I am not intending this to mean that I am actively trying to make any of my friendships fizzle out.  It's more for those I feel have moved on to a new season and I am in denial. :) 

Seasons of life is something I need to accept. I need to let go of those who are now in a new season as well, but it is never willingly on my end.

Thankfulness:
1. The school bus driver
2. Green grass
3. Sports that bring families/friends together
4. Garden Claw that aided me in yard work this week
5. Rhubarb

Verse to Chew on:
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalms 19:14

He's not Stumped

I have been tagging along life with some pretty amazing family and friends. 

Lately, I have been hearing of some pretty severe situations occurring in the lives of some close friends.  My heart aches for them.  I want to do something.  Anything. I want to help. I want to offer encouraging words. I want to be a concerned friend.  I am a concerned friend.

I know that each person who stumbles across this message has their own trials they are facing. And, I am sure we all know someone who is facing heartache.

The message I want to share today is simple.  It was some words passed along by my father-in-law who has no idea of the situations my dear friends are facing.  But the words are appropriate.

Was Jesus ever in a situation in which He was stumped? Was He ever in a situation He couldn’t handle? Even the cross was part of His plan. Your situation doesn’t stump Him either. Give the situation over to God and lean on Him. 

On the flip side of these trials and tragedies, illnesses and pain, I stand in awe.  I am in awe of how God works.

I am writing this next part hoping that it comes across with sensitivity to you yet praise to God.

As I was praying with some friends tonight I kept thinking, who am I and who is my family that we should be blessed in so many ways and for so many generations?  Our trials seems so minimal in comparison to massive grievances of those dear friends surrounding me.

I pray with heartfelt sincerity and fervor for my troubled friends and their families, and I thank God with my undeserving being for abundant blessings.

Thankfulness:
1. Friends I can be real with
2. A husband who loves me unconditionally
3. The dustbuster to clean up little messes
4. Comfort
5. Grace

Verse to chew on:
Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Censor and Joy

Some days I can't control my tongue.  I say things I wish I did not say, and even worse, I say things that hurt people and I don't even know what I have done.  Words just come out.  Sentences.  Paragraphs. Loud volume that is uncalled for.  It explodes and I can not take it back and I feel deep regret.  Once something is said, it can never be taken back.  You can apologise and plead jest, but it is all about the heart behind the words.

If my heart is in a kind state, those words, sentences and paragraphs are much less frequent. 

If I am feeling anger, self-pity or wallow in ridiculous expectations, you can guarantee those words spew out rapidly.  And it is usually to those I love most.

I don't say "bad" words.  I say hurtful words.  But, is there really a difference?

I was reminded of this tonight.  I am in a "kind state" so it was not with me.  Indeed it is easier to see faults in other people before myself.  I was reading through some social media posts and was embarrassed at what I was reading in my news feed.  I was thinking, I wish I could censor what I am reading to only see things that are beneficial...or at very minimum, things that are neutral on the scale of "good and bad". 

I wish there was a censor that blocked out bad posts on Facebook, but I wish even more that I had a tighter censor on my thoughts and words that come out of my mouth.  I can not control what others do and say, but I have full control of my own voiced thoughts and often what I am viewing.

I have been thinking about the relationship between joy and what I intake.  If I am seeing "garbage" on my news feed, and I am hearing junk on tv that is not glorifying to God, does that correlate to my mental state of joyfulness?  I think it does.  The more good that goes in, the more good comes out.  Seems like a simple equation to me.

So, my conclusion, be VERY aware of intake and censor even closer what comes out of my mouth. Keep a joy flickering (or better yet, burning!)  in my heart and don't let it be quenched by garbage, but instead ignighted with God-honoring intakes.

Thankfulness:
1. A voice to speak
2. Eyes to see
3. A safe home
4. A dishwasher to wash my dishes
5. Forgiveness

Verse to chew on:
James 3:5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 

Perspective

Snow.  In March.  Just when us Wisconsinites thought Spring should soon approach.  How do YOU feel about snow???

In years past I have not been thrilled with snow storms and the added blanket of white to the frozen earth.  I had wished away the winter to bring the warm weather.

But not this year.  I am not sure where the mental shift came from but I am more excited than ever to see more snow on this beautiful snow day! 

It is such a blessing to see the kids excitement of playing in the winter wonderland on their new snow boards and even to see Carlee, our dog, frolicking in the snow.  And, what a great blessing that I can have another day home with my boys when they are usually in school! The better attitude I have about the snow, the more excited the kids are to play in it. 

Another perspective I have taken to is that there is beauty in each season and it won't be long until each season passes.  With each season pass, my boys get older.  I know that seems obvious but it is in looking back at photos from years ago that I realize how fast time goes and how much they have grown.  It seems so cliche to say that time goes fast, but seriously...time goes fast! Before I know it my boys may not want to go play in the snow, or they will feel too old to want to enjoy time with their mom. 

So my goal: enjoy each day as it comes and with what it brings.  If there is snow falling, lets play in that snow and make fun memories!  Take a few pictures, but don't take so many that you are behind the camera and miss the actual interaction. 

On a semi-random side note but also of great importance: When I look outside, the pure whiteness seems almost blinding it is so bright.  God says he will wash away our sins and make us white as snow!  What a comforting thought to know that all my past mistakes are gone and forgiven, thanks to Jesus paying the ultimate price for me, while I was still a sinner.  He makes me white as the blinding snow!   

Thankfulness:
1. Freshly falling snow in March
2. The mailman diligently trudging through the snow storm
3. Shovels
4. Zack and Owen's laughter
5. Ears to hear

Verse to chew on:
Isaiah 1:18  "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Conflictions

I have been thinking about different topics I want to write about and I have yet to make formulated presentations of these thoughts...until today!  So after several months of neglecting blog writing, I have decided to make some fresh attempts.

One issue that I have been thinking about is health.  It is recommended to stay active to stay fit and in shape.  It is recommended to eat healthy foods and skip the junk.   Right?

My problem:  Each item that I listed does not have a definite answer.  Here is what I mean.  If someone tells you to eat healthy, what do you eat?  I have been programed to think that whole wheat bread is more nutritious than white bread, and that all fruit is good for you and any veggies are healthy and adequate for consumption.  Does that sound reasonable?

Here is where it starts to get tricky.  You know those side bars of advertising you see while browsing on the net?  One of them lured me in with the title of "5 Foods You Should Never Eat".  I read through the list.  Top on the list was whole wheat bread.  Next Bananas. I know there were 3 more but I can not remember the others.  I was frustrated. 

It is recommended to stay active to stay in shape so your body will be healthy.  I joined a gym.  I was looking up some workout routines and up pops some headlines in my search engine results that essentially encouraged only 3 days a week of exercising and saying that anything more than that is too much.  I was doing 5 days a week and feeling pretty good.  According to this article if you go too often your body will get too fatigued and won't respond to your workouts any longer.

There is so much conflicting advice "out there".  I am learning that I need to do what is best for my body and that I can find conflicting advice that can support any view or stance I choose to take.  The Internet is not the ultimate answer.

I know what IS the ultimate answer.  And right now it is opened to Exodus 33.  If you are expecting me to reveal any health tips in Exodus, change your expectation.  :)  Just a few chapter back, God has feed the Israelites manna for 40 years.  They are God's chosen people and they were not eating whole wheat bread or bananas. God wants us to take care of our body by eating nutritious food in moderation. 

If you are looking for answers solely on the Internet for problems or questions, you may want to change your source to the one that does not conflict with itself.  And if you think it does conflict with itself, then dive in to the content and don't blindly pull verses out of context as that issue is far too common.

I am going to start a new format in my blogs and list 5 things I am thankful for toward the end. 

Thankfulness:
1. The snowplows and drivers who work hard for us to safely traverse the roads
2. The fruit bowl sitting across the table from me that has nutritious foods to help keep me healthy
3. The driver's Ed car that just passed my house-it reminds me of my Grandad teaching me to drive
4. The cozy warm sweatshirt I am wearing that Dan gave me for Christmas-its keeps me warm and reminds me of his protection and care for me
5. Blinds-they keep the darkness out and let the light in and aide in a sense of security

Verse to chew on:
Deut 26:11 ...you shall rejoice in all the good which the Lord your God has given you and your household.

A Great Roadtrip Adventure

A late night recall of our road trip to New Hampshire...

This trip was full of fun and friends!  We started out early Monday morning and made it to our pre-planned destination of Streetsboro, OH.  All is uneventful, in a good way so far.

Tuesday we made decent time getting to NY, but then we hit traffic.  When I say traffic, I don't mean traffic that slows you down for a couple minutes.  I mean traffic that forces 8 lanes down to 2 to cross the Lincoln tunnel in NYC during rush hour going 2.5 miles in 3 hours with 2 children who need to go to the bathroom.  Yeah, I know you envy that section of the journey!

We arrived at our hotel in Long Island City, NY only to find out that there is limited parking.  And again, by limited parking I am referring to 16 parking spaces for 2 buildings that are each 10 floors high.  Hmmm...and did I mention I have a large SUV? In down town NYC?  Our vehicle was almost unscathed. The concierge working at the hotel told me there was one spot left to park in the parking garage.  I entered. Well, let me take that back.  I attempted to round the corner into the garage and it was so tight that I could not make it.  It scraped the rear fender. Booo for the fresh concrete scrape on my Enclave.  OK, so I was in the parking garage and I get to "the one spot" and it is not even close to being wide enough for my vehicle and I can not turn around to get out of the garage.  This got ridiculous.  I had to back out.  I am not happy.  Not only is the spot unusable, I now have been driving since 7:30 am with the kids, they just sat through the 3 hours of moving slower than a snail and now there is no where to park.  Grr.  I stopped and said a prayer of desperation.  "God, please help me to find a place to park. I am so frustrated."
I drove around the block.  I saw a spot on the street to park.  But, it made me so nervous (this was not the best area to hang out in) that after a few more frustrated pleas to God, I left that spot and circled back to the hotel with the anticipation that God would find me a spot (one of 16 for the 2 hotel buildings...a minor miracle!).  Well, I entered the surface lot and there was one free spot!  And, I could actually fit my vehicle in the spot.  Thanking God, I took the spot.  It was so tight I let the kids out before I pulled in, then crawled out the hatch.  But, we made it!  So we gather our stuff that we need for the night and we head to the elevator to go up to our room and who do we see, but my fabulous friend Alyssa, her mom and her son who we were meeting in NYC!  It was such perfect timing!  Bless her heart, I was so frustrated I could hardly talk but she was so gracious in taking care of us to get us settled and calmed down.

OK, next day.  Alyssa and I had not seen each other for 10 years and we planned to have the day together to hang out and catch up.  It was such a treat to see her, I don't think it really mattered what we did.  However, we were able to take in some fun sights.  One of our favorite was the Statue of Liberty.

We were also able to take in some obligatory hot dogs from a street vendor.  They were actually pretty good. :)

Then after lots of walking we (mostly Alyssa) navigated the subway system and found our way to Central Park.  Zack and Owen enjoyed playing with Noah, their new friend.

Then it was about time to call it a day.  We headed back to the hotel and ordered delivery.  It was the best delivery I have ever had!

The next morning we continued our journey to Watch Hill, RI.  Along the way we needed to pull off for potty breaks.  We saw this car when we stopped. 

After taking the pictures of the car I noticed there was a guy sitting in the driver's seat.  Oops. Hope he does not mind being featured in my blog. :)

We continued on and made it to Watch Hill.  It was a great afternoon of waves and sand.

The last thing we were able to do in RI was ride the world's oldest carousel.  The kids loved it! (even though Owen's face does not look like he was enjoying himself, he talked about it for days!)

On the road again...

Next we made it to Taunton, MA to see another great friend, Katie and her family.   Katie, thanks for the pic!  (I like that Apollo snuck in there too!)  Zack and Owen enjoyed seeing some more kids on the trip.  They liked that they knew who they were before we got there too.

After a night in Taunton with such a gracious host, we headed up to our final destination of Campton, NH to see my parents.  We enjoyed almost a week with them.  During our stay I got to see some of my best middle school friends!  We reminisced on the playground that we used to play on but this time it was our kids playing.  How fun! 
Tracy and Penny, it had been way too long! Can't wait til the next rendezvous!

I also got to see another dear friend, Melanie whom I grew up with.  I again wish I had taken a pic of us too for memory sake.

I was able to visit with my grandma in Littleton as well.  These moments are treasured but bittersweet.  I LOVE seeing her, but she has the terrible disease of Dementia and no longer remembers who I am.  I still have such fond memories of my sweet grandma and am so thankful for the many years I had growing up so close to her and the impact she had on me.

During our free time in NH we enjoyed hours at the pool.  Everyone went in the water...even my mom!  (Although not pictured here, Dad was in the pool too.)

We had such a fabulous trip of seeing friends and family.  We even were blessed to see a gorgeous New Hampshire sunset one of the last days there. 

Our trip home was not quite as fabulous as the whole adventure.  We left early Thursday morning in hopes to get a good start on the 20 hour drive home.  All was good until Thursday night.  We found a hotel in Elyria, Ohio and were just getting settled in and Owen was sick.  Poor guy.  It seemed to come out of no where.  I figured that was it and he was doing better.  Nope.  Friday morning we packed up and ate breakfast.  We just got in the car to head home and before I had even closed my door Owen was sick again.  It was not a fun time.  I found the housekeeper and got some towels and disinfectant spray and cleaned as best I could with what I had (and did I mention it was raining out?) but the smell was awful and Owen was feeling miserable.  After we got on the road again he was sick several more times.  I never have enjoyed Chicago traffic but it is even worse when there is a sick child.  He did perfect aiming in a bag, at least.  Poor guy. 
It was a glorious moment pulling into our garage and getting out of the car for all of us when we returned home.  And, our poor car dealership down the road did a fantastic job detailing our car. Thanks Symdon. :)

So there you have it.  The adventures of roadtripping with me.  I think Dan may have been wise to stay home with the dog, but I had fun.

8 Years Ago...

Today is Zack's birthday.  I spent this morning looking back at our pictures from when he was born.  This was a monumental and eventful time in our life for several reasons.
Here is a recap of our major events in 2004...
(While reading the first several events, keep in mind that I was due May 8th)

March 26th Dan and I moved to a new Apartment in Appleton, WI.  We were excited to have a washer and dryer for our soon to be family of 3!

April 7th We were both working for Humana Insurance when Dan came down to my desk in agony.  His lung had collapsed at work so I frantically rushed him 30 minutes away to our hospital in Appleton where he underwent 3 surgeries and stayed in the hospital for several days.  I was a wreck with terrible thoughts and HIGH emotions.

April 23rd is my last day working but not without a crazy ending.  Leaving 2 weeks before I was due was essentially like quitting and I lost all of my financial maternity benefits.  I did not care.  I was DONE. 

Sometime around May 3rd Dan gets a call from Epic offering him a job as a Computer Programmer!  I looked for the picture but could not find it of Dan's reaction after the call...it was one of his most animated moments ever as he was dancing around the living room! Oh happy day!  He no longer needed to work at Humana in the call center.

May 8th comes...and goes...no baby yet.

May 13th I am at the grocery store and a random middle aged gentleman asks me, "When are you going to have that baby?" 
My response: "The doctors said 5 days ago."  He chuckled. 

May 15th A week overdue.

Getting ready to go!  I had to be there by 7:00 (to be induced) which was no problem at all!  I did not sleep much at all because I was so excited!

Heading out the door to go have a baby!

               

We got things started at 8:30 and at 1:30...Zackariah Amos Fawcett made his debut!

We were so thrilled to have our son! 

(Zacky at 3 days old)

May 20th We travel down to Madison and endure a 13 hour day of house hunting.  Zack, being only 5 days old, did fantastic.  But, let me tell you...that was not a fun day for this new mamma!  We put an offer in on what we felt was the best option of what we saw.

May 22nd We found out we did not get the house and set up another day to go house hunting in Madison. Yuck. (Oh, and remember we just moved 2 months ago!)

June 7th Dan starts work at Epic.  For the next 3 weeks we live in Extended Stay...a hotel room.  A one room hotel room.  With a newborn.  Who wakes up every 2 hours or less. 

June 25th We closed on our first house and was it ever a joyous occasion!  Not only to own our first house, but to get out of that hotel room after 3 weeks! 

These major events, Dan's collapsed lung, having a baby, Dan and I each starting a new job (mine was being a mommy!), and buying a house made for quite an adventurous couple months. 

And now, 8 years later we still know and feel God's awesome blessing on our family.   

Dan is healed with limited restrictions.

He is still working for Epic.

We have our second home in the school district that is perfect for our boys.

And, Zack, he continues to grow in wisdom and stature. 

 What a great morning reminiscing 8 years ago.  God has surpassed my expectations for our family in every area possible.

I'm thankful for so many blessings.  Today, I'm especially thankful for my newly turned 8 year old (and Dan and Owen too!).    I am beyond blessed.