After a fun time zip lining and riding a Jamaican bobsled (cause you just have to do that if you are in Jamaica right?!) we eventually caught a shuttle back to a tourist shopping area. By eventually I mean that they have no sense of time. We were completely full and loaded on the shuttle and the driver decides that it is time to eat lunch so our full shuttle of about 25 people watch our driver exit the bus, sit down with some buddies and leisurely eat his sandwich.
OK, so we are now dropped off at the shopping area. A complete tourist trap. We like those, for a little while...you know, long enough to peek at some obligatory souvenirs. So we decide to explore a bit and go find something to eat for lunch. We walked out of the shopping area and went right. We walked past tons of little shops full of everything you could think of. They were not the most presentable either as the poverty level in Jamaica is very high. So, their shops represented that well. At the entrance to each shop there was a salesperson asking us to come into their shop. We politely ignored most of them. After walking a while an only recognizing KFC we decided to seek out some sort of Jamaican cuisine.
We noticed a abnormally clean white building called "The Castle" and it did not look sketchy. So, we decided to turn around and walk back to that place to see about getting some lunch. We get to it and there is a guy outside asking if we want to come inside.
We walk inside and he asks what he can help us with.
Dan: We are looking for some lunch.
Guy: Oh, I have food here.
Dan: OK
Guy: Follow me.
We walk into the nice white building. There is NO ONE in there. OK, so small red flag for us as we enter a completely empty building.
Guy: Come on up stairs.
Dan: OK
We walk up the stairs thinking that is where the restaurant is.
It is also completely empty of people but has several tables and chairs set up. (More red flags but it almost seems too late to turn around).
Guy: So, what can I get you today?
Dan: Some lunch.
Guy: So, uhhh, would you like some scrabbled eggs and toast?
Dan: No thanks. We were looking for lunch.
Guy: Oh, OK. So like, uhhh, some rice and peas and chicken?
Dan: (shrugging his shoulders) Uhh, sure.
Guy: OK, sit down.
(We sit)
Guy: Oh, uhhh, would you like to sit by the pool?
Dan: Uhh, sure.
(We move over to sit on the balcony overlooking the pool...also where no one was).
Guy: What would you like to drink.
Kirsten: Water?
Guy: Sure, I be right back.
So the friendly Jamaican guy returns moments later with a bottle of water and pours it into some glasses. We smile and say "Thank you."
Guy: I be back in a few minutes with you food. It takes a few minutes to cook it
Kirsten: (nodding) OK.
(So at this point we have no idea what we have gotten ourselves in to. There were not any menus and no one else there to see what they were eating.)
About 10 minutes later the guy returns with 2 huge plates.
Sure enough we had rice and chicken (no peas but it was replaced with coleslaw).
Now wouldn't you know, this was the best meal we had the whole vacation trip! The chicken was juicy and tender and not spicy and the rice was delicious with some unique spices. I have no idea what type of seasoning they used for either of the items, but it was yummy!
OK, so we are sitting and eating our delicious meal and we think...hmmm, how much is this going to cost us. (Remember there were no menus to indicate price)
After we finish we get our check. The meals were $11.95 per plate and the water is $3. So my calculations made that be just under $28. The itemized bill looks like this:
2 chicken's $11.95
1 water $3.00
Total: $38
Wait a second there...that's either (A) bad math or (B) cheating the Americans. I am opting for option B. But, our justification, it was so good, we'd pay that much in America. So we pay and don't complain.
As we get up to leave the guy walks us out.
Guy: How was your meal?
Dan: Fantastic. It was really good!
Guy: Is there anything else I can help you with? You need a place to stay?
Dan: No thanks.
Guy: (What Dan hears anyway) Do you like Bob Marley?
Dan: (Shrugging his shoulders), Yeah, sure.
Guy: (His eyes lit up really big), YOU DO?!?! You want some weed?
Dan: Oh, uhh, no thanks.
Guy: You sure?
Dan: No thanks.
After a few more steps the guy goes back to his "White Castle". Two more steps a friendly Jamaican guy (guy #2) asks:
Guy #2: Do you want to buy a cd of Jamaican music?
Dan: No thanks.
Guy: Do you want some Bob Marley smokes?
Dan: No thanks.
So we keep walking, heading toward our cruise ship. Up approaches another guy (guy #3).
Guy #3: What are you doing?
Dan: Just walking.
Guy #3: Where you going?
Dan : This way.
Guy #3: Well, where are you going?
Dan: This way.
Guy #3: What are you doing?
Dan: Just looking at shops.
Guy #3: I have a shop. You want to come to my shop?
Dan: No thanks.
Guy #3: Well, what are you doing then?
Dan: Just looking at shops.
Guy #3: Well, I have a shop. Come to my shop.
Dan: No thanks.
Guy #3: I really do have a shop.
Dan: I believe you.
Guy #3: Just come to my shop. I have stuff to sell.
Dan: No thanks.
Finally that guy leaves us alone and lets us walk. About 3 steps alter another guy comes up to us.
Guy #4: What are you doing?
Dan: Just walking.
Guy #4: Where are you going?
Dan: This way.
Guy #4: Can I show you where to go?
Dan: No thanks. We are just walking.
Guy #4: Well, what are you doing?
Dan: Just walking and looking at shops.
Guy #4 I have a shop. You want to see it?
Dan: No thanks.
Guy #4 Do you want some Bob Marley smokes?
Dan: No thanks.
Guy #4 (after following us for what seemed like forever asking the same questions over and over again): Where are you going?
Dan: Back to the ship.
Guy #4: You are going the wrong way. The ship is that way. (He points in the opposite direction).
Dan: OK, thanks.
Guy #4: I'll show you.
Dan: No thanks, we are fine. We just want to walk.
Guy #4 (getting irritated with us): Fine. You're acting strange, man.
So we turn around and start back toward the ship past all the guys who offered us weed, and for us to visit their shops.
Another guy tries to fist bump Dan. Dan ignored it. But this is guy #5.
Guy #5: How you doin'?
Dan: Good.
Guy #5: Want some Bob Marley smokes?
Dan: No thanks.
That guy walked away a lot faster than the others, thankfully.
So after an interesting encounter for a mystery meal and 4 offers for weed, we made it back to the tourist shopping area. Then, eventually back on the ship. We realized we went the wrong way and left the tourist trap for our lunch...and boy did we get an adventure and true Jamaican culture!
